Hey, this is Monick Halm of Real Estate Investor Goddesses. And I'm here with another video. Today I want to talk to you about something that can really stop a lot of us women from moving forward with our real estate investing, and that is imposter syndrome.
So what is imposter syndrome? Imposter syndrome is a feeling of unworthiness or incompetence, despite accomplishments and success. And it's that feeling you get. You're about to do something, and you think, "Oh, my God! I can't do it when I do it. Everyone's going to know. I'm a fake, and I'm an imposter, and I have no business doing this." And it's not true, but it's a feeling that is very common. So how do you deal with that feeling? And this is something that's come up for me because, recently, I had these.
TV producers reached out to me and wanted to do something. They want to do a TV show about me. And when they first reached out, I had this amazing conversation, and I love them, and they love me, and I'm loving their ideas, and it's exactly what I've been wanting to do. I'm super excited. I actually left the call with tears of joy because I was so excited. And then I woke up the next morning, like.
"Oh, my God!" You know it's like, "No. Can I do this? I can't do this. I'm an imposter. They're going to know! The whole world will know. It's going to be on TV." And I realize that I remembered. Wait. I have tools for dealing with this, and I want to share those tools. And how you can move forward, and use them.
Number 1… you're not alone, right? A lot of us think "Oh, my God! I'm the only one that thinks this way." But it's not true. 82% of people experience imposter syndrome. I don't know what the other 18% do. Maybe they're just sitting on their couch, not doing anything that makes them feel that way, or they're sociopaths. I don't know, but it's very normal to think that. To have that feeling sometimes.
So I love this quote because it kind of gives you an idea about how ubiquitous it is. This is a quote from Maya Angelou, who's like the most amazing writer ever, and she wrote, "I have written 11 books. But each time I think. Uh-oh! They're going to find me out now. I've run a game on everybody, and they're going to find me out." This is her eleventh book. She's a Pulitzer Prize winner. She's amazing.
Tina Fay said, "The beauty of the impostor syndrome is that you vacillate between extreme egomania and a complete feeling of being a fraud. Oh, God, they're on to me! I'm a fraud. So you just try to ride the ego mania when it comes and enjoy it, and then slide the idea of fraud." So if you feel this way, you are in great company.
Number 2 is to share your feelings of shame about feeling like an impostor. You know the antidote to shame is sharing when you talk about feeling like an impostor with other people. Oftentimes, they're going to go.
Oh, yeah, I've been there, or they're going to go.
Come on, you know you can do it. Look at it all. You've done right, so you'll get solace, and you'll get commiseration, and you'll feel less alone, and often voicing that fear helps it not be quite so scary and potent.
Number 3 is to seek wise counsel. So start talking to people who are doing, or have done what you want to be doing—that thing that you're about to step into that is making you feel like an impostor. So for me, with this TV show, I'm reaching out to a couple of people I know who have a play. I'm reaching out to another producer that's not on the talent side, but on the production side and getting their feedback, I'm reaching out to people in the industry for support, so that as I move forward, I'm moving forward intelligently.
Because part of the fear is not quite knowing what to do. So, when you're in this situation, seek out somebody. Seek out a mentor. Seek out guidance that will help you move forward.
Number 4 is to say yes to new opportunities. So oftentimes, when something shows up, that imposter syndrome will come up, and then our instinct might be to go.
"Yeah, you know what? That voice is right. No, no, no, I can't do this." And you want to be able to say yes.
Richard Branson says, "If someone offers you an amazing opportunity, and you're not sure you can do it. Say yes, then learn how to do it later." Right? So, says "I'm imploring you. When you feel that way, it's actually a good sign. So just say "yes," right? if you weren't qualified, then you wouldn't be called for it all right,
Number 5, and embrace the feeling, and use it as a quote from Karl Richards, who wrote an article about imposter syndrome for the New York Times. He says we know what that feeling is called. We know others suffer from it. We know a little bit about why we feel this way, and we now know how to handle it. Invite it in and remind ourselves why it's here, and what it means. Friend of Mineika Sawyer, host of real estate investing for women. Podcast. If you're not feeling imposter syndrome, you're not playing a big enough game. She says that she said that at our house.
I want our real estate investor soulmates retreat, and when she said it was like boom, mic drop, it's not an abnormal feeling. Actually, when it shows up, it means that you are stepping into a bigger game. It means that you are Plant You're stepping forward. You're going to the next level. So when it should, when it shows up, say, embrace it.
Come in, friend, because this is why you're here, which is a good sign. It's not a bad sign. It's a good sign. As long as you don't let it stop you when it shows up, you're on the right path. And then this is this last step is something that I got from Marie Forleo. It's the power mantra, so it uses an f-bomb. She says, when she feels imposter syndrome, she goes to the mirror and looks in the mirror, and she says, I'm Marie, fucking Forleo, and I've got this.
So your mantra is that you use your first name fucking last name, and I've got this. Say that yourself. That's what I did. I looked in the mirror. I said, I'm unique fucking home, and I've got this, and it's important that you use the f-bomb. Why? Because it's a pattern, interrupt it kind of like a. Your brain is like that, and it helps you snap out of it. And you know that you really do get this. So, how are you going to deal with imposter syndrome?
You are an amazing fucking goddess, and you've got this!